So, my dog died today

0117090910For some reason I was thinking about Drew this morning at work. I hadn’t spoken to him since I told him I was pregnant, and I was feeling hurt that in the seven weeks that had passed, he never called to ask how I was doing or what my decision on the matter was.

So it felt like some weird twist of fate when I saw that he was texting me on my lunch break. His message said “Hey. I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk about it but thought you should know Isabella passed away this morning.”

Isabella had been our dog. Sure, she was technically “his” dog, but after living with her for six years, I feel like she was mine as well.

The tears instantly welled up in my eyes and I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and weep. It was that whole body type of sobbing that leaves you with no energy and a bad headache for the rest of the day.

Isabella was such a sweet girl. She was a lab shepherd mix and just one of the nicest animals you could ever encounter. She loved going on hikes, rolling in dead smelly animals, and snuggling. If you took out the “rolling in dead smelly animals” part, you could say she was a lot like me. Sure she had a beard and a bit of a gut, but her heart was so much bigger than any human on this planet.

There was this one time Drew drove across the country for a job interview and left Isabella to take care of me while he was gone. I anticipated fun girl times, but she tore her acl almost immediately after he left. For two weeks I had to carry all 65 pounds of her up and down stairs, and help her hoover while she peed. I didn’t do it out of a sense of responsibility to Drew, but because I loved that crazy girl.

The vet told me that she could either have a $3,500 surgery, or I would have to put her down because she would never be able to walk again. Well she showed them! Drew came back and we had her take it easy for a few months and sure enough, by the next spring she was walking as if nothing had ever happened.

After Drew and I separated, I tried to keep in touch with him about the dogs, but my heart hurt so much for them and him that eventually I stopped.

I had this little family unit for six years and it was gone in the blink of an eye. It hurt and I blamed Drew. Unfortunately I never got to see my kids again.

The texts back and forth between us when I told him I was pregnant even ended with me saying “kiss the kids for me.”

He never responded at all.

I hadn’t seen her in almost two years, but god do I miss her big brown eyes and fuzzy face. I hope if there is a doggie heaven that it’s filled with bacon, tennis balls, and soft blankets.

R.I.P. Pretty girl, mom loves you!


Posted on April 24, 2014, in I've got the feels..., Word Diarreah... and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Always so sad to say goodbye to wonderful, loyal friends. My condolences.

  2. This is very hard…I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you. Ann

  3. It’s so hard to lose some one you love. My heart goes out to you.

  4. Thank you everyone for your kind words. I’m just thankful that I had her in my life, even if it was only for a short time.

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