She Bop, He Bop, A We Bop

There is something to be said about the weight loss effects of Zoloft when a person first starts using it. Sure, the work out routine that I had previously started has completely gone out the window, but the explosive diarrhea, acid belly heartburn, and inability to eat has more than made up for that in the calories in vs. calories out department.toilet

As of this morning I am down to 169 lbs.

According to those outdated height to weight ratio charts, I am only 5lbs away from the upper end of my weight range… if I was a large framed woman.

I don’t think I am a large framed woman, though, I think at best I have a medium frame.

I want so badly to go out and hike today, it was my goal yesterday as well, but I just can’t seem to get my ass out of bed. My brain is awake and being motivational right until my feet hit the ground, then it’s like “Ah, it’s cool girl, but isn’t bed so much nicer?”

And then I’m like “Yeah, Brain, you’re totally right! Bed is the best place ever! Also, maybe I should have some white wine spritzers while I’m here”, and then we sit down and binge read the xoJane website until we pass out.

I know this type of weight loss is not healthy or sustainable, but it’s something. It’s pretty much all I have right now, so I’ll take it. On the other hand, I do miss the food.

It’s not that I can’t eat, I can, it’s just that I get a little queasy when I do. According to the side effects on the website that’s totally normal and should go away at some point in time.

The food thing I’m not really worried about, what I AM worried about is the sexual side effects.

Oh god! No orgasms??! Kill me now!

This is my blog and you’re strangers, so I’ll drop this bomb… I have been masturbating like crazy to see if it’s still fun.

It is… But the urge to do it is somewhat lessened…. Maybe it’s all in my head.

I’ll keep you updated on my progress.




Posted on July 15, 2014, in Word Diarreah... and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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