Depression can be a dirty, dirty bitch
Ok, here’s my thoughts:
Depression is the absolute worst.
There is a really wonderful description I read once that likened it to being stuck in a river where the water is rushing around you rapidly. There are people on the shore urging you to just get out of the water, but they’re so far away and your arms are so tired.
Once in a while you find a rock to lean against for support and to catch your breath…but eventually that rushing river will sweep you away again, its only a matter of time.
That is depression.
Robin Williams is the perfect example, no matter what you have in life, there is no release from it’s grip.
When you have it, there might be moments where you can breathe again and see things normally, but it will always come back.
I have been on antidepressants for 5 weeks now, and while I have good days, I know this is something that will never go away completely.
I know when I tell my doctor about this she will either encourage me to be on it longer, or she will tell me to try another drug.
I think to myself that if I had someone that loved me, and maybe a family that I could be happy.
Let’s face it, I’ve had those things before.
I’ve been loved.
It doesn’t get better, and it never will.
This is a big wake up call.
Mental illness is not something people just get over.
There is no light at the end of the tunnel.
Even with therapy and pills, you just have to commit to continue walking through the tunnel.
You either continue on in the dark, or you sit down and rot.