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I’ve Got a Pocketful of Sunshine

Here’s another rambling for you…

Most days have been okay since taking Zoloft.

Sure, once in a while I have a bad one, but it’s never out of control.

I knew today was going to be a problem when I woke up and just wanted to check out how far along my baby would be.

26 weeks. Read the rest of this entry


My Favorite Game

Yesterday I had my first “Mental Health” appointment. It sounds ominous, but I assure you, the entire ordeal was pretty tame.

Basically, I told my doctor a couple of weeks ago that I was suffering some severe guilt over my decision to have an abortion. I had however, neglected to tell her that I have been dealing with crippling depression my entire life.

This is something a primary care physician might not pick up on, but a mental health counselor most certainly will.

I could tell right away this lady knew I was full of shit. Read the rest of this entry


At what point will I be able to look back on this abortion and think “yeah, that was the best choice, I’m glad I did that?”

When I walked into work today, one of our managers was in covering for another employee. I asked her what was up and she said one of the workers in another store called in sick so people were filling in and moving spots around all over. My friend Sarah, is the one that called out. I only see Sarah 3 or 4 times a year, mostly we just communicate via email.

Imagine my surprise when the manager said that Sarah called out because she was having complications with her pregnancy!

I didn’t even know Sarah was pregnant. Not only that, but she is due on the same day I was due. Needless to say, I was pretty upset. Read the rest of this entry

They say confession is good for the soul…

First on the agenda today is a sincere apology to those of you that clicked the little follow icon on my blog thinking that it was going to be a fun read about the life of a single gal in Portland sexing her way through the city. In the six months that have elapsed since I started on this adventure I have met an awesome but unattainable guy, fallen head over heels, gotten knocked up, and then made the heartbreaking decision not to have the baby.

  Life has certainly taken me down some dark passageways as of late. Read the rest of this entry

I’m sorry Miss Jackson, I am for reeaaalllllll

I had my follow up appointment at good old Planned Parenthood today. A very nice woman with tattoos and an incredibly sassy attitude probed me with the robot ultrasound machine and gave me the news. Turns out the pill was 100% successful and I am no longer pregnant. Not even a smidgeon of baby matter remains.

She was having trouble getting me to relax into the stirrups. I told her it was because a stranger was inserting an object into my vagina. She looked me dead in the eye and said “well since we’re being this intimate, I think it means we’re friends.”

I was so perplexed by her odd response that my legs immediately went slack and she was able to get the images she needed. Read the rest of this entry

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