Blog Archives

Sweet Surrender

There’s a drinking sweet spot when you deal with clinical depression.

It’s easy to go from “God, I had a bad day I need a drink”

to

“I had a drink, things are nice and fuzzy”

to

“Oh NO! why am I alone?!”

The key is to stop at the warm and fuzzy, comedy stage.

That’s where I am currently residing…

but I don’t see myself staying here long.

A Bad Romance-Part One

Once upon a time a beautiful, young(ish) girl in a new city decides to go on a pub crawl to check out her neighborhood and drink beer with strangers. She is one of the first to arrive because she’s punctual and believes in being places on time. She enters the first bar and instantly hits it off with the three other people there. They talk for the next 45 minutes about their lives and the forces that had brought them to Portland. When it’s time to hit the next bar, the girl, turns towards the exit and almost plows down a jolly round faced guy holding a fresh beer.

“Are you guys part of the pub crawl?” he asked expectantly.

“Yeah, but we’re headed to our next destination right now so you’d better chug that mother fucker quick” she says to him as she high-fives him and walks out the door. Read the rest of this entry

My Name is Leda, and I’m a Chubby Chaser

I was looking at pictures of Michael Fassbender today and realized he would be the perfect man if only he was 45lbs heavier. Don’t get me wrong, his abs are amazing and I would like to rub my face on them, but would I really want him pumping away on top of me stabbing me with his hip bones? Probably not. But if his head was on Kevin James body? Oh god, it would be on like Donkey Kong! Read the rest of this entry

Confusing love and chewy bites with Justin

I’ve been seeing this guy Justin since just after Christmas. He was another OkCupid acquisition and boy was I excited to meet him. He was only the second person I had actually booked a date with from the site so I was still apprehensive about the entire thing. That was until we had an amazing first date.

Read the rest of this entry

Punk boys, bowling and buttcracks…

Punk boy pressed his body against mine and kissed me on the neck. He was a bit rougher than I was used to, but I let it slide because sometimes rough can be exciting. After the lukewarm date we had, the kissing was a welcome change.

I am very new to dating. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m the 40 year old virgin or anything, it’s just that I have had a couple of very, very long relationships. Even those relationships didn’t start with “dating”. It was always just friends that turned into something more. The way I see it, if you already feel comfortable farting in front of someone before you’ve had your first kiss, formal dating doesn’t really make sense. Read the rest of this entry

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