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A Bad Romance-Part One

Once upon a time a beautiful, young(ish) girl in a new city decides to go on a pub crawl to check out her neighborhood and drink beer with strangers. She is one of the first to arrive because she’s punctual and believes in being places on time. She enters the first bar and instantly hits it off with the three other people there. They talk for the next 45 minutes about their lives and the forces that had brought them to Portland. When it’s time to hit the next bar, the girl, turns towards the exit and almost plows down a jolly round faced guy holding a fresh beer.

“Are you guys part of the pub crawl?” he asked expectantly.

“Yeah, but we’re headed to our next destination right now so you’d better chug that mother fucker quick” she says to him as she high-fives him and walks out the door. Read the rest of this entry


My Name is Leda, and I’m a Chubby Chaser

I was looking at pictures of Michael Fassbender today and realized he would be the perfect man if only he was 45lbs heavier. Don’t get me wrong, his abs are amazing and I would like to rub my face on them, but would I really want him pumping away on top of me stabbing me with his hip bones? Probably not. But if his head was on Kevin James body? Oh god, it would be on like Donkey Kong! Read the rest of this entry

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